Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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