drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Randomize
