shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
