so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
