I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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