That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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