He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
