So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
