There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
