haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
