He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
