i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
