Texts From Last Night

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  (305): View more from Florida

  your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise

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  (305): your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise http://tfl.nu/rpa6
  Replies (5) Good night (1223) Bad night (856)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?

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  (513): Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school? http://tfl.nu/0udh
  Replies (357) Good night (958) Bad night (8137)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets

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  (281): i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets http://tfl.nu/eja8
  Replies (33) Good night (7661) Bad night (806)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.

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  (202): God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now. http://tfl.nu/vtz7
  Replies (20) Good night (2868) Bad night (1220)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  if i died would you start the facebook group?

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  (330): if i died would you start the facebook group? http://tfl.nu/beoo
  Replies (27) Good night (4490) Bad night (1257)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.

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  (908): just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep. http://tfl.nu/seq6
  Replies (14) Good night (5520) Bad night (1520)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue

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  (210): i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue http://tfl.nu/p7ux
  Replies (5) Good night (4570) Bad night (1047)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes

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  (208): No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes http://tfl.nu/t8pf
  Replies (7) Good night (1206) Bad night (2823)
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  (585): View more from New York

  I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out

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  (585): I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out http://tfl.nu/5zzk
  Replies (1) Good night (1693) Bad night (664)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.

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  (815): I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere. http://tfl.nu/v3m6
  Replies (11) Good night (882) Bad night (2376)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.

  (1-510): View more from California

  That is one convoluted booty call.

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  (510): Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week. (1-510): That is one convoluted booty call. http://tfl.nu/bxw4
  Replies (2) Good night (811) Bad night (1005)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.

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  (702): There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that. http://tfl.nu/7qcf
  Replies (3) Good night (1357) Bad night (580)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  .......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.

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  (530): .......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space. http://tfl.nu/f94k
  Replies (11) Good night (979) Bad night (1384)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.

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  (+44): Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread. http://tfl.nu/ub9a
  Replies (4) Good night (746) Bad night (319)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?

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  (203): What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high? http://tfl.nu/zas2
  Replies (2) Good night (721) Bad night (281)

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