Texts From Last Night

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  (340): View more from US Virgin Islands

  just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?

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  (340): just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free? http://tfl.nu/81qf
  Replies (17) Good night (997) Bad night (1766)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.

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  (409): Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever. http://tfl.nu/fjfv
  Replies (12) Good night (964) Bad night (4160)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once

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  (251): i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once http://tfl.nu/k6sm
  Replies (52) Good night (4940) Bad night (1255)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted

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  (860): I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted http://tfl.nu/x75x
  Replies (7) Good night (4229) Bad night (733)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"

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  (336): He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth" http://tfl.nu/505h
  Replies (11) Good night (3721) Bad night (2188)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?

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  (815): He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for? http://tfl.nu/k6v7
  Replies (16) Good night (1214) Bad night (3846)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.

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  (828): and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY. http://tfl.nu/xi75
  Replies (9) Good night (1943) Bad night (684)
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  (559): View more from California

  Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes

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  (559): Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes http://tfl.nu/dyqg
  Replies (12) Good night (4216) Bad night (775)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.

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  (202): I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control. http://tfl.nu/1mo8
  Replies (0) Good night (945) Bad night (301)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.

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  (616): Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS. http://tfl.nu/6mor
  Replies (3) Good night (270) Bad night (738)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(

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  (832): i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :( http://tfl.nu/r8m8
  Replies (5) Good night (493) Bad night (377)
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  (276): View more from Virginia

  You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.

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  (276): You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy. http://tfl.nu/1029
  Replies (1) Good night (421) Bad night (292)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home

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  (574): You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home http://tfl.nu/h5b8
  Replies (1) Good night (664) Bad night (320)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.

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  (937): Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time. http://tfl.nu/olr8
  Replies (5) Good night (923) Bad night (258)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it

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  (908): do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it http://tfl.nu/ga2l
  Replies (2) Good night (639) Bad night (217)

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