Best friends brother. Beat that.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
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Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
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I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.