Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(308): View more from Nebraska

Best friends brother. Beat that.

Fav 91 6644 1766
share tweet
(509): View more from Washington

after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery

Fav 9 3498 2056
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(973): View more from New Jersey

So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it

Fav 29 5656 2082
share tweet
(417): View more from Missouri

He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.

(1-417): View more from Missouri

I love foreign exchange students.

Fav 6 4040 1009
share tweet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(407): View more from Florida

Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.

Fav 8 4286 1058
share tweet
(+41): View more from Switzerland

How did she break his doorknob?

(1+41): View more from

That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.

Fav 4 2056 801
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(705): View more from Ontario

He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five

Fav 0 832 472
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(312): View more from Illinois

My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?

Fav 0 272 313
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(508): View more from Massachusetts

This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.

Fav 0 24 13
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT