brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?