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• (818): View more from California

  Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (816): View more from Missouri

  I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  You mean maximum 5?

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (231): View more from Michigan

  I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since

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• (906): View more from Michigan

  I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.

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• (518): View more from New York

  I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober

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• (620): View more from Kansas

  He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants

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