Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(916): View more from California

put your butt on the phone this is a booty call

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(813): View more from Florida

yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing

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(214): View more from Texas

I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.

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21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone
Read it at the TFLN blog
(724): View more from Pennsylvania

who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.

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(310): View more from California

Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?

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(727): View more from Florida

Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?

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