like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
39 Memes Anyone Who Cries When They See Their Bank Account Will Relate To
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.