8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
