capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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