i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
