I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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