It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
