wanna go halves on a baby?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?