Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
We left the knife in your bed.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.