I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
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Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
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he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.