at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.