The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
