he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
