i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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