Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
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i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
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also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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