It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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