Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
