Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Randomize
