I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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