Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
We named our party play list daddy issues
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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