there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
