I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
