This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize