I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
he thought i was a dude.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
They left me at home... I'm a liability
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
