we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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