I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
