doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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