shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
