It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
