I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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