"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Blood and glitter go together right?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
