He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
