Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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