I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
