weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
The beers last night were like the tears from god
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
