...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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