Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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