I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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