u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
thus making me awesome and them whores
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
