Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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