I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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