so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
