Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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