for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
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