when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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