me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
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Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I stole a fireplace last night.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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