By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
