she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Dicks are not precious.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
