I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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