I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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